5:49:00 AM
{Prologue}

Autumn...

The falling leaves are said to be giving up their places for the new lives of spring.
Their passing may make us lonely, but there will always be new leaves in spring.

The empty place in my heart... probably has the same meaning.

{excerpts from Boys Be...}

{The Chapters}

On a peaceful night, I was browsing upon the contents of my drawer when I stumbled upon my golden book. It is a precious book I have always kept ever since I knew how to write. Flipping over the pages of the last chapter, a wave of reminiscence came upon me. When I was thinking about the whole chapter, a question suddenly struck me, "Was that real? Was the text written on the whole chapter the truth?"

I just wanted to believe... that everything was not a lie. All I wanted was to treasure the memories and keep them precious in the golden book... in my heart.

I put the golden book back to the drawer and hopped to the bed, cuddling inside my cozy comforter. Still, I could not help thinking about it. What if it was not real? What if everything that happened was a lie? A feeling of drowsiness washed over my mind and the soothing smell of chamomile + vanilla bean + orange blossom lulled me into a restful slumber.

I heard someone's gentle voice. The most important thing is not whether it is real or not. But question yourself: Did you put your heart and soul into creating the chapter? Was it real on your part, on your behalf? Did you try your best effort to make it real? Were you honest to your own feelings? You should not worry about anything else... if it was not a lie for you. It is not between you and everything else, it is between you and Him. Be true to yourself and your own feelings, because in the end, you have to be responsible with all the contents of the book in front of Him... when everything has ended.

The rosy-colored dawn arrived, and within minutes, the sun brightly shined upon the bedroom's window. I opened my eyes and smiled to the new day awaiting outside. Right, I should not worry about it. It doesn't matter anymore, now that I can accept everything. They were not lies, those precious memories written on the golden book.

In an instant, I forgot about the whole thing and happily embraced the new day... until I received a letter in the mail that afternoon. It was a continuation of the last chapter. The last paragraph was missing, and it was there in the blue envelope. A voice. A smile. A word. A sentence. A scene passing by. A confirmation. A warm fuzzy feeling. An end to the last chapter. A beginning of a different one.

{dedicated to the contents of my golden book}

{Epilogue}

I think losing something only happens in a second.
Maybe it will end up as nothing, but it will not be forgotten.
It will always be there, deep inside of the heart.
The most precious is right now, this moment, today.
The season that currently belongs to me...
And then another season to start with.

A whole new season will begin.

{excerpts from Boys Be...}

8:09:00 AM
Tell me... why is everyone into Livejournal lately?

2:32:00 AM
Aaahh.. milk bath is the best! I like the smooth feeling on my skin with milk bath better than bubble bath. In fact, I hadn't taken milk/bubble bath at home in years; I always took a shower instead of relaxing in the bath tub. Excuses always came up before: I don't have a bath tub in my parents house in Indonesia (not in my room, but of course the master bedroom has one), the bath tub in my Pennsylvania apartment was too dirty/old, the bath tub in my current townhouse didn't have a drain stopper. I had always forgotten to buy a drain stopper whenever I happened to stop by Albertsons. So I finally did get one today... and I'm totally hooked in milk bath right now. One could foresee warm milk bath to be a nightly activity, just before I drift away into a peaceful slumber inside my cozy comforter. My current favorite milk bath powder? The healing garden zzztheraphy. Soothing.

12:50:00 AM
Today doesn't feel like Monday at all. Truthfully, it feels like Sunday, complete with all the stressed-out & worrysome feelings of facing the following day. Las Vegas was fun, yet it was very stressful. Fun because Mystère (from Cirque du Soleil, performing at Treasure Island) was extraordinaire (I honestly ran out of vocab. Simply said, it's beyond words). Stressful because of the money spent there (meals: good restaurants & buffet, a little bit of gambling: slot machines, and other things: show, airline ticket, etc). Although I did win $300, I lost the money almost immediately to help reduce the expenses. It didn't really help, because I spent two-third of it to treat my friends for dinner (blame it to the overpriced lobster!) and one-third for slot machines. Shouldn't have done the latter. I regret that terribly, but cannot do anything now. I just learned my lessons.

6:55:00 AM
I'm leaving for Las Vegas in 3 hours... I need to get a quick good night's sleep now. I'll be back on Monday evening. Until then!

5:24:00 AM
Since last Monday, I have become a regular member of a local video store. I rent from them almost everyday, mostly anime DVDs. I must say that I like NieA_7 and Night on the Galactic Railroad. I'll definitely buy the latter, because I rarely see such anime. One with a lot of symbolism interwoven, reminding me of David Lynch. It's absolutely not everyone's cup of tea. Even some people would get bored pretty easily, not to mention children. In fact, I was watching with Gabby, and she got bored in the middle of the movie and started playing on her own. Above all, the meaning is very deep, it goes beyond the surface of the story. I'll probably need to see it again to fully understand.

3:56:00 AM
Happy 19th Birthday to my dear brother, Ivan

I really wish I could be there for his birthday celebration. Home. Indonesia. Yet I can't get out of the country. Not now.
Above all, have a very happy birthday, dear brother! May God bless you... =)

10:02:00 AM
Dans la grande respiration de la Nature,
Le sortilège naît du sentiment de l'infini.
Et ce sentiment, comme la mer,
Les montagnes nous l'offrent
Pour la plus grande joie des hommes
Qui ont tant besoin de grandeur.

Louis Nucéra

9:25:00 AM
Oh! Anyone who likes Stephen Soderbergh or Quentin Tarantino must see "Requiem for a Dream"! It's truly amazing, every second of each scene is a work of art. Just what I expected from Darren Aronofsky's directing. The film also needs to be seen by ALL high school students around the world. They will surely learn from it.

And let me throw a big applause to the fabulous quartet of stars: Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, Ellen Burstyn, and Marlon Wayans. Their acting was the mirror of perfection.

Marion: "I love you, Harry. You make me feel like a person. Like, I'm me and I'm beautiful."
Harry: "You're the most beautiful girl in the world. You're my dream."

"...Believing in each others light, each others dreams."

9:14:00 AM
Last Saturday, five of us (Sandra, Ronald, Gabby, Marco, and myself) drove to Carlsbad with the intention of visiting The Flower Fields. Alas, due to the abrupt decision and having gotten lost on the way there, we couldn't enter the fields. It was already 6.10 PM when we arrived, and the gate to the fields closed at 6.30. Because it would take one hour and a half minimum at the fields (it's huuuge), they didn't let us in. So we roamed around the flower store, which has various flowers for sale, and took photos. And we promised ourselves to go back there before the blooming season ends on May 12.

Before visiting the flower fields, we went to "hangout" at Costco, after having lunch at Chicken & Ribs in Azusa. I bought two bottles of wine there. I didn't know they have quite good collections of wine.

7:02:00 AM
The most abstract film ever, Mulholland Drive. As much as I like abstractness and symbolism, this movie far surpasses the realm of my abstract thoughts, leaving me perturbed. During the last one-third of the movie, I had my mind totally lost trying to relate the scattered scenes to those of the first two-third. None of us, 5 adult heads in front of the TV, understood the story at all. Not at all. Honestly, I was literally frowning in utter confusion for quite a while when the screen went black after the woman with the blue hair mouthed "Silencio" and the credit appeared. Until I finally gave up and ran to the computer at the Niko's and found this article (warning: DO NOT read the article if you haven't seen the movie yet. The analysis will spoil the story & the plot big time. You won't want that, trust me. See the movie first, it's beyond worth it). Naomi Watts is absolutely worthy of being given credit & applause for her impressive acting.

And from this point onwards... I need to stuff myself to more David Lynch films. Not by myself, though. Or if by myself, not at night. I cannot watch film noir when the sun has set. Kowai desu.

12:43:00 PM
Still not fully recovered yet... I've been having cold since three days ago. As if it wasn't satisfied if it didn't strike me... I've had my share of all the major flu symptoms this time.

Setting that aside, I haven't filed the tax form yet. And the deadline is coming very soon, no less. And my computer has been acting all but nice lately. I had to free up 1 GB of hard drive last night, because there's only 500 MB left. Burned all those manga and deleted unnecessary files. And now one of the windows freezes. Great.

*restarting the computer*

8:56:00 AM
Happy 3rd Birthday, Gabrielle Alexandra Niko!

8:00:00 AM
Is it Daylight Saving Time in the USA already?

Porridge with preserved eggs (pitan) is the best! I'm finishing the large bowl of porridge in only 15 minutes. I want more...! *pokes Sandra* :D

3:55:00 AM
Updated, with a decision to haul its course to a whole different destination.
I still watch anime & read manga, I just happen to lose interest in "anime collective" websites. Thus concludes my decision made up months ago. I once wrote about that on my journal here. I would like to thank each and every one of you who have visited ikkoku.net and support it in any way up until today. Thank you very much!

On the topic of health, I've been sick since Wednesday night. I dread being sick, especially since I rarely get sick since I moved to the USA. I was just sick two weeks ago with pharyngitis (inflammation of the throat), and now I am struck with pharyngitis again! On top of that, I also got the somewhat-rare disease: Hongkong flu, the type of influenza that attacks the bones, making them all achy and painful for 2 days straight. Thank God it has ceased since last night... although the pharyngitis has gotten worse because I pushed myself to sing at praise & worship event last night. I shouldn't have done that, knowing that my throat would get worse & become more irritated & swollen. That leaves me with no option for food other than soup, porridge, or anything else that is not hot, not cold, not spicy, not fried, and not oily. Sheesh. What I hate the most, though, is the fact that the throat is a lot more painful when I sleep (because it's dry) rather than when I'm awake.

However, it has a positive side: I am consuming honey all the time, right from the bottle! The most frequent time for me to consume honey is whenever I get pharyngitis =P It feels good to the throat, making it all soft and not so irritated anymore.

This is one of the very few Saturdays that I did not go out at all. And yet I am so unproductive *sighs* I did nothing except for reorganizing ikkoku.net (especially the MP3 section and the links) and browsing endlessly. The last two days were even worse: I slept for the whole day. I read manga and novel. I slept again.

Sandra has been more than kind to deliver a large bowl of porridge in front of my door. Thank you very much, my dear =)

Btw Anne, "skripsi" is "thesis" in English.

8:12:00 PM
I have a new favorite hangout: Barnes & Noble bookstore. I seem to go there at least once a week lately. And each time, I always carry home a handful of books :D The newest novel that I bought is Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell. Need I say more of the reason? It's New York! ^^

Here are some excerpts...
Love at the Bowery Bar
"It's Friday night at the Bowery Bar. It's snowing outside and buzzing inside. There's the actress from Los Angeles, looking delightfully out of place in her vinyl gray jacket and mini-skirt, with her gold-medallioned, too-tanned escort. There's the actor, singer, and party boy Donovan Leitch in a green down jacket and a fuzzy beige hat with earflaps. There's Francis Ford Coppola at a table with his wife. There's an empty chair at Francis Ford Coppola's table. It's not just empty: It's alluringly, temptingly, tauntingly, provocatively empty. It's so empty that it's more full than any other chair in the place. And then, just when the chair's emptiness threatens to cause a scene, Donovan Leitch sits down for a chat. Everyone in the room is immediately jealous. Pissed off. The energy of the room lurches violently. This is romance in New York."

Now, I am not a New Yorker. But I've been there so many times that I have begun to understand the city in depth. It's much more than just the savvy 5th Ave, or the Ground Zero and Sept 11 tragedy, or the Canal St and SoHo, or An Affair To Remember at the Empire State Building, or iceskating at the Rockefeller Center, or the Statue of Liberty, ... the list goes on and on. It's more to New York than that.

Welcome to the Age of Un-Innocence.

2:27:00 AM
The facts about Men and Women
(Yes, I know some of you got the email already, but I cannot resist to share this with the whole world)

SHOPPING MATHS
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, he must understand himself a lot and love himself a little.
To be happy with a woman, she must love herself a lot and try not to understand herself at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are 2 different occasions when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
If old aunts come up to you at weddings, poking you in the ribs and telling you, "You're next" ..... you can stop this if you start doing the same thing to them at funerals.

6:16:00 AM
In addition to my swollen ankles, my whole body aches, especially my right hand (due to too much Gabby-weightlifting =P). It feels as if I had just played tennis intensively for 5 hours after a one-year break. The most annoying of it all is that sleep should have been the most relaxing cure. But how am I supposed to sleep relaxedly if everything hurts? >_<

Anyhow..
Here are the Easter photos. You can easily notice that it was a rather "bad hair day" for me last Sunday. Hontou ni. I had a haircut almost 2 weeks ago with someone else (not my usual favorite guy at Jose Eber) and it was a tad bit too short for my liking. Thus, most of the time I pull my hair back into a knot. I'm definitely going back to Soner, my favorite hairdresser at Jose Eber, when it's time for me to have my haircut two months from now *nods*