4:44:00 AM
There might be a slight confusion as to my long entry below; the one about my student visa application being denied and my plans for the future.
I didn't explain the background of my purpose of going back to Indonesia, since I already wrote about that many times previously. But some people have only read that entry without really understanding the whole story. Hence, misconceptions have arisen from there.
So here goes, to enable all of you to better understand, in a chronological & simple summary.

I had finished my university and got my bachelor degree on August 2001 from Penn State.
I moved to California right away and started looking for a job. I couldn't find one until Dec 2002 and worked temporarily for a month.
For the next 9 months (Jan-Sept 2002), I looked for another job, but then decided to look for a graduate school or take professional certificate, since jobsearching is not an easy task and I would prefer to study rather than work anyway. During those 9 months, I gained a lot of life experience, spiritual enhancement, as well as precious memories.
My family took turns in visiting me since June to August 2002. Mom came, mom went home. Mom and bro came, dad came, bro went home, dad went home, mom went home. Mom came again. You got the idea. I was glad I didn't work. How would I be able to take such a long leave anyway, with them coming and going for months like that? =P
After my family left, my decision to take Interior Design professional certificate program in UCLA Extension was confirmed.
I had to go back to Indonesia, since I needed to apply for a student's visa for the above-mentioned certificate program. Plus, there were several acute personal and family problems that I needed to attend to.
My student's visa application was denied, because USA is totally paranoid. "You're barely back to Indonesia and you want to go back there again?!" so said the consular officer with sarcasm. God bless her.

I was extremely shocked, for I wasn't prepared in the least that I couldn't go back to the States. I had to rearrange the whole seemingly well-laid plans. My future, my daily life, my friends, my unfinished business in the USA, my stuff and food left in my empty apartment and storage in Pasadena, my bank and other accounts, my clothes.... everything needs reorganizing and rethinking. The hardest thing to deal with is the feeling of being totally unprepared. It's almost the same feeling (but much less intensive) as if your beloved someone suddenly died. Your life would never be the same and you were totally unprepared for it. The difference is that the loss of death is forever and irreplaceable, and my loss (of planned future, of current daily life, etc) is not forever and absolutely replaceable.
Since I was unprepared, I didn't bring along important stuff back to Indonesia, not even with the thought "if by any chance my visa was denied". In fact, I didn't think about that the slightest bit. Maybe you wonder why.

You see, I always believed that everything would've gone well before I went to Indonesia, because everything seemed to be going smoothly before. But apparently God has other plans for me here in Indonesia, by my visa being denied. I wasn't allowed to take the certificate program and go back to USA in such a hurry. I wasn't allowed to even prepare for the worst. So I learned to give in to God's will. So I learned to walk by faith, day by day, to see more clearly what God wants me to do with my life. So I learned to cut my bonded ties to everything in the States, because I wouldn't want my heart to be tied there forever. So I learned to keep precious memories as memories, not as ties, and smile over them, not be sad. So I learned to put aside my extremely high expectation, for I'm a perfectionist, and if I keep demanding perfectness in every situations, I would suffer greatly when my expectations are not met. So I learned to enjoy my life in a totally different way: seize the day. Carpe diem. I'm starting to understand its true meaning now...

Life is a mystery indeed. The character Janey Wilcox from the book "Four Blondes" by Candace Bushnell was asked, "What do you want out of life? What are your goals?"
Her reply was, "I don't know where I'm going, but I know I'm going somewhere." For who truly knows precisely where you're going in life? Anything can always happen, now or in the future. So I learned a lot... and I hope you do, too. Hope is the source of life, but leave everything to God, for He knows what's best for you. Even if "best" according to Him means suffering to us. Just keep walking... follow the light of your heart.

Chesa, I didn't plan to study in Indonesia. You and others might ask, so what's next? What are my new plans for the future? Quite honestly, I don't want to plan too far ahead now. More like, I'm afraid to do so. However, I'd like to apply for a tourist visa soon, so that I can go to USA to sort my stuff, take a great deal of them home to Indonesia, and leave a few in a storage there for my brother. Consider that as "going back for good".
I still want to pursue a master's degree (not a certificate anymore), but as to the what, where, and when of it, I leave it all to God. Right now I cannot plan yet. My family still has unfinished business that needs attending to for the next few months.
As to what I'm currently doing... I'm not doing anything monotonous. Not going to college, not working. I can't be committed to any long-term contract right now, for I still need to finish incomplete tasks first. But worry not, I always have a lot of things to do here in the mean time :)

There, the story of my life after graduation. I hope it answers unsaid questions from curious minds out there. I wish everyone a pleasant evening.