6:46:00 AM
Oops.. I procrastinated again =P I was gone for almost 3 weeks... Sometimes I wanted to take a break like Ruby did for a few months... but I missed my journal a lot. The biggest dilemma that's been holding me from writing is the fact that my life is revolving too far out of the usual internet activities nowadays. I haven't chatted with anyone (except for real-life friends via ICQ... sometimes), haven't read any blogs (only very rarely), haven't been actively web-designing or doing other website-related activities, haven't really done much online except for IRC-ing (surprised? ^^v) and job hunting. I've been submitting hundreds of resume without any leads to success. I'm getting tired... very tired. And I decided to escape once again to my journalism world, at least for now. Given that I haven't followed the blog world this past month (or perhaps more), I really don't know what to say internet-wise (or you could say "blog-wise"). I have much more life in California than I had in Penn State. That's a fact, I can't deny it for any reasons. I have to admit that I go out a lot lately, given the fact that I've had my own car. So what now? What to write? What to say? What to update?

Nothing much, except these thoughts I've been having and some major updates:

1. The most important of them all (at least for all of you fellow readers): website updates

I will not make a big site of Maison Ikkoku, since there are already a couple of very good sites out there. I just plainly don't have the time, energy, creativity, motive, and that much interest in Maison Ikkoku to create such a complete site I once had in mind. Yes, I still love anime & manga, and I truly will love them until I don't know when, but to create a complete MI site is utterly impossible. I still will make a shrine to it, a little something that I've been having in mind, but will not be a realization sometime soon. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone.

The Phantom of the Opera project is dropped. That is simply unbearable. Too big of a project, too many pages of 2 books to read, too many backgrounds, too much analyzation, too much story to cover...... not enough time. You see, right now I would rather spend 8 hours jobhunting everyday rather than doing this old hobby of mine that doesn't yield the most necessary factor to live: money. I don't have much time to search for a sponsored full-time job in the USA before I have to go back to Indonesia for good... I'm only permitted to stay here until August 2002. I have to bring up my first priority in life at this time, convenez-vous?

I might or might not continue with City Hunter + Tsukasa Hojo site. Depends on my future commitment to everything. Now I will still continue with Kyoko Hikawa site, since I'm still very much interested to cover her works. I might be decreasing the contents (as opposed to what I had in mind when I first thought about the project), but I will still continue with the standard guidelines of a site when working on Kyoko Hikawa site.

A major update will commence upon ikkoku.net next year. It might not be the typical anime collective site anymore, but more of a personal site. Maybe. I don't know yet. Just something I've had in mind.

2. Let's put aside the website topic and move on with the updates on my personal life.

Hmm.. what to say? There have been so many happenings in my life, most of them are very personal. I just don't feel comfortable sharing it with the whole world. I might be an open person, but not so open as to the point of being extrovert. Well, to make long stories short: through many trials of life that I had to endure lately, I have survivingly struggled through the ascending steps of maturity, although it was very hard indeed. I have learned a lot these past few months, more than what I could learn in years, surprisingly. Some of the results can be easily noted upon little (yet very fundamental) occurences, such as:

I used to be very lazy. You all know how lazy I was that I kept delaying things and procrastinating. Slowly but surely I have disciplined myself. For example: I've tried my best to organize my once-very-disorder sleeping cycle. A day used to be 30 hours for me, not 24 hours. Now it's back to normal =) Although sometimes it's still a bit messed up, but not like it was before. It was majorly messed up during my college years.

I have learned to put life's top priorities in the first layer of my daily activities. Those priorities include (in no particular order) and not limited to: job-hunting and all its requirements (resume submittal, cover letter composition, follow-up letter transmittal, etc), learning needed skills and relearning some long-forgotten skills for job-hunting purpose (which means I need to reread my college textbooks based upon job requirements, in case the skills need to be tested at the interview), creating harmonious relationships with the Indonesian people around Los Angeles & Orange County area (for many good purposes, obviously ^^v Which means I have to be rather active for the networking to be effective), and building intimate religious relationship between myself and our Father in heaven (and this one must be regarded as the first and most important priority). All of those have pretty much filled up my daily schedule already. Sometimes I even cannot do all of them daily. Have I reached adult-level maturity? Perhaps. The most noticeable thing is that I now have far more responsibilities on my shoulder. And there aren't that many people whom I can ask for guidance and support. I have to rely on God to help me show the way. That surely strengthens my faith each day.

I have learned to be a wiser person in every aspects. I am trying to be a better person each day, learning from my previous mistakes and not-so-pleasant personalities (hey, everyone has their own not-so-good personalities, don't they?). A friend said I was hot-tempered & stone-headed; now I try to be more relax, have more patience, and willing to listen. Another said I had abrupt, intolerable & uncontrollable mood swing; now I try to be calmer and have full control of my emotions. I used to dig a hole for myself when I was depressed to sink deeper; now I try to face every problems with a big heart, large patience, complete faith and a thankful smile for everything that happens.

Now before I bore you to sleep, I'd better excuse myself. Nothing is more boring and unattractive than a narrative about one's own experiences, yes? ^^ Worry not, I shall babble more when the time is right. And I bid you adieu for dawn has nearly come.... Do forgive my abuse of literature... it's what happens when I missed writing! XD