5:19:00 PM
This journal will be static from now on. I'm currently still updating my livejournal, accessible from the main portal of all my sites at kuya.net. Check kuya.net for new updates. Forgive me if you find broken links here and there. I currently have no time to fix them. Maybe later, if I ever get around to do it =P

I would like to mention the blogs of some of my friends from California:

Kevin, Indra, Amanda, Garry, Herry, Susan.

I will add more when more people join the blogging world.

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2:00:00 PM
Ah, back to dear old Blogger. When will I get an invitation to Gmail?

The war on 1 GB email has recently started. The users are happy. Yes, we are indeed ^^

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10:14:00 AM
kuya.net will be under construction for about a week or so. Firstly, it will change webhosting, then it will hopefully change appearance.
Therefore, it will be offline for about two days or so during the webhosting change process.

Please expect a "site not found" page very soon.
Oh, and in the mean time, you can check my livejournal.

4:21:00 AM
You know..
I was supposed to see Miss Saigon at Terrace Theater, Long Beach Performing Arts Center on March 22nd. I was the one who bought the tickets after all -_- And somehow had the feeling; I gave the 6 tickets to Bayu before I left the US last October 2002. I told him, "Just in case...". So Bayu and Henny (his girlfriend), Faye and Dwi, Adit (Bayu's brother) and Nita (his friend) all went to see the musical.
And someday I'll be able to see it as well. Somewhere.

Also,
My credit card (one of them) has been compromised! -_- I had previously had my check card compromised, back in August 2001. Now my credit card *sighs* And I rarely use this one, above all!
Tell me, what's the lesson behind this?
One of them must be: the internet is NOT a safe place at all.

10:38:00 AM
Let's spend some time with my dear journal. I've abandoned it for enough time already =P
To answer previous questions from commentaries and guestbook:

Meet my cousin Irene: I don't really have time to update this journal, so I won't be able to write more often. Besides, I don't really have many interesting stories anymore as my life is going through a monotonous cycle since I started working. So worry not, I still write, although the frequency is reduced greatly. (Oh, let's not forget to consider the amazingly super slow internet connection in Jakarta *pouts* It would be good enough if I can get online once a week only to check my emails, let alone to browse or do other things).
Iya nih blon ketemu kamu... lha kamunya sih super sibuk, ga pernah bisa ikutan kalo ada acara. Ya udah kapan2 kalo ga sibuk dan available, telfon aku deh. Tapi weekend ya, aku kerja sampe malem terus soalnya. Oya, Rene, kamu tau siteku ini dari mana?

Speaking about internet connection, I'm really waiting for ICON + to market their products. I hope they do it soon, because 2 mbps digital powerline communication is not a bad idea. Not at all. In fact, it's such an awesome idea that makes me excited everytime I think about the soon-to-be much improved internet connection in Jakarta. Really =D

Mia, I realized that I couldn't access my emails as often as I wanted to, therefore I'll answer your questions here instead, at least for the mean time, until I can arrange my time to get online more often (or I can get a better internet connection... which will not be in the near future).
Replying from your previous comments: Yes, I still have the Javanese accent, especially if I'm talking with my family. But not to my friends, unless they speak with Javanese accent as well. Gue di Pasadena belum sempet kuliah. Tadinya mau ambil professional certificate di UCLA, cuma karna ditolak visanya ya ga jadi. Dulu gue undergraduatenya di Pennsylvania. Oh, thanks for the suggestion, but I'm not going back to the USA, especially with the current situation (war, etc). I've already started to adapt to life in Jakarta (and started to liking it, little by little), I'm not going to leave my current life behind and starting a new one all over again. I'm actually tired of having to do that. So I'm staying here. For good =)

Chesa, the work is not too heavy, but the work load is enormous. I have to deal with numerous people and departments, master new skills and knowledge as fast as I can, and do things I have never done before and imagined I would've been doing it someday. Gran Mahakam Hotel is okay, I guess. I have no work experience in Indonesia to compare it to. If I compare it to my work experience in the USA.... I'd quit right away! XD

Vera, a friend of mine applied for H-1B visa last November and she got it too easily, I think. They didn't ask much, either. It really depends, nowadays, to everything. Luck, mostly. Because with the current situation with USA (war, etc), it's better for you to not go back home until the situation gets better. The same friend that I told you about wants to go home this April, and eventhough she already had her visa, she told me she won't go home if USA declares war soon. So if you're not ready to leave USA for good, don't go home now.

Hanzky, in your case, you've already undergone your master's degree before you ask for an extension of F-1 visa. It would be easier for you to get an approval of visa extension. In my case, I haven't taken any classes at all (and besides, mine is a professional certificate, while yours is a master's degree. They believe more to the master's degree, of course). Above all, good luck with your study!
Oh, I go to Klub 45 a lot for lunch =) The food is okay, not too great (I love good food, so I'm picky with the categorization of "good" food =P), but I love the poffertjes!

Mmm.. that's all for now. Time to sleep.
I'm sure everyone can read about my updates from my answers to several people above.
Until next time!

10:42:00 AM
Newsflash!

...since I barely have time to get online at all. Let's have the news packed into one entry :)

1. My tourist visa application was rejected on Jan 6, 2003. I couldn't go to the USA at all, at least for a few months (hopefully not years *pouts*). Anyway, I see it as a blessing in disguise. Look at how paranoid the Americans are now.

2. A week later, Jan 13, I got a job offer (a connection from my mom's client) at Gran Mahakam Hotel, Jakarta, Indonesia. Within a few days, I was interviewed by numerous people, including the General Manager, who is French. They wanted me to start working right away, but I told them I'd start on Feb 3 (Feb 1 is Chinese New Year).

3. I had a minor lymphatic gland surgery on Jan 22, 2003. Stayed on the Medistra hospital for a night. It was my first time having had a spinal anaesthetic.

4. Starting Feb 3, 2003, I'm an IT staff (under Accounting Dept) at Gran Mahakam Hotel. On my fifth day, I was asked by the Cost Control (directly summoned by the owner of the hotel) to help them with their project. So I'm now under the Cost Control... until the project is done, which will not be in the near future.

5. I have to work 9 to 5 Monday to Friday, and 9 to 2 on Saturday (which I rarely go home on time; I usually go home after 6 on weekdays). Takes some time getting used to.

...end of newsflash.

See you whenever I could steal some of my spare time to get online... from the IT Dept's computer :)

4:44:00 AM
There might be a slight confusion as to my long entry below; the one about my student visa application being denied and my plans for the future.
I didn't explain the background of my purpose of going back to Indonesia, since I already wrote about that many times previously. But some people have only read that entry without really understanding the whole story. Hence, misconceptions have arisen from there.
So here goes, to enable all of you to better understand, in a chronological & simple summary.

I had finished my university and got my bachelor degree on August 2001 from Penn State.
I moved to California right away and started looking for a job. I couldn't find one until Dec 2002 and worked temporarily for a month.
For the next 9 months (Jan-Sept 2002), I looked for another job, but then decided to look for a graduate school or take professional certificate, since jobsearching is not an easy task and I would prefer to study rather than work anyway. During those 9 months, I gained a lot of life experience, spiritual enhancement, as well as precious memories.
My family took turns in visiting me since June to August 2002. Mom came, mom went home. Mom and bro came, dad came, bro went home, dad went home, mom went home. Mom came again. You got the idea. I was glad I didn't work. How would I be able to take such a long leave anyway, with them coming and going for months like that? =P
After my family left, my decision to take Interior Design professional certificate program in UCLA Extension was confirmed.
I had to go back to Indonesia, since I needed to apply for a student's visa for the above-mentioned certificate program. Plus, there were several acute personal and family problems that I needed to attend to.
My student's visa application was denied, because USA is totally paranoid. "You're barely back to Indonesia and you want to go back there again?!" so said the consular officer with sarcasm. God bless her.

I was extremely shocked, for I wasn't prepared in the least that I couldn't go back to the States. I had to rearrange the whole seemingly well-laid plans. My future, my daily life, my friends, my unfinished business in the USA, my stuff and food left in my empty apartment and storage in Pasadena, my bank and other accounts, my clothes.... everything needs reorganizing and rethinking. The hardest thing to deal with is the feeling of being totally unprepared. It's almost the same feeling (but much less intensive) as if your beloved someone suddenly died. Your life would never be the same and you were totally unprepared for it. The difference is that the loss of death is forever and irreplaceable, and my loss (of planned future, of current daily life, etc) is not forever and absolutely replaceable.
Since I was unprepared, I didn't bring along important stuff back to Indonesia, not even with the thought "if by any chance my visa was denied". In fact, I didn't think about that the slightest bit. Maybe you wonder why.

You see, I always believed that everything would've gone well before I went to Indonesia, because everything seemed to be going smoothly before. But apparently God has other plans for me here in Indonesia, by my visa being denied. I wasn't allowed to take the certificate program and go back to USA in such a hurry. I wasn't allowed to even prepare for the worst. So I learned to give in to God's will. So I learned to walk by faith, day by day, to see more clearly what God wants me to do with my life. So I learned to cut my bonded ties to everything in the States, because I wouldn't want my heart to be tied there forever. So I learned to keep precious memories as memories, not as ties, and smile over them, not be sad. So I learned to put aside my extremely high expectation, for I'm a perfectionist, and if I keep demanding perfectness in every situations, I would suffer greatly when my expectations are not met. So I learned to enjoy my life in a totally different way: seize the day. Carpe diem. I'm starting to understand its true meaning now...

Life is a mystery indeed. The character Janey Wilcox from the book "Four Blondes" by Candace Bushnell was asked, "What do you want out of life? What are your goals?"
Her reply was, "I don't know where I'm going, but I know I'm going somewhere." For who truly knows precisely where you're going in life? Anything can always happen, now or in the future. So I learned a lot... and I hope you do, too. Hope is the source of life, but leave everything to God, for He knows what's best for you. Even if "best" according to Him means suffering to us. Just keep walking... follow the light of your heart.

Chesa, I didn't plan to study in Indonesia. You and others might ask, so what's next? What are my new plans for the future? Quite honestly, I don't want to plan too far ahead now. More like, I'm afraid to do so. However, I'd like to apply for a tourist visa soon, so that I can go to USA to sort my stuff, take a great deal of them home to Indonesia, and leave a few in a storage there for my brother. Consider that as "going back for good".
I still want to pursue a master's degree (not a certificate anymore), but as to the what, where, and when of it, I leave it all to God. Right now I cannot plan yet. My family still has unfinished business that needs attending to for the next few months.
As to what I'm currently doing... I'm not doing anything monotonous. Not going to college, not working. I can't be committed to any long-term contract right now, for I still need to finish incomplete tasks first. But worry not, I always have a lot of things to do here in the mean time :)

There, the story of my life after graduation. I hope it answers unsaid questions from curious minds out there. I wish everyone a pleasant evening.

10:19:00 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2003!

Have a wonderful celebration and a prosperous year.
May the year ahead of you be a happy and blessed one.

To me, this is the best New Year ever :)
It's the best, even though I only spent it in Melia Hotel in Yogyakarta with my family. No party, just praise & worship.
It's the best, because it's my turning point to being a mature adult. Leaving old habits and be a new person.
Hope yours was great as well!

9:12:00 PM
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I hope everyone has a joyful and blessed Christmas.
And may God's love and blessings be poured upon you all today and always.
Happy holiday!

To me, this is the worst Christmas ever.
I was in my worst condition: I felt lonely, depressed, frustrated, down, angry, disappointed, sad, awful... everything mixed into one.
It was the peak of my suffering so far. I tried to hang in there, to survive, and keep in faith, although it was very hard to do so.
Hope New Year won't be as bad...

11:39:00 AM
So many things have changed since I last wrote. My plans have changed. My environments have changed. My future has changed. Most important of all, my life has changed. It will never be the same as it had been before. God's plans are totally beyond our minds.

It all started from my visa having been denied about 3 weeks ago. Yes, USA is that paranoid... they won't even let an honest lady with good intention who only wants to study to enter their country. Isn't that ridiculous? But hey, that's what happens everywhere. I heard a lot of friends and strangers whose visas were denied solely due to USA's insecurity and paranoia. You know, I've learned from a dear friend of mine who lost her son a year ago... that when it's God's will, nobody can prevent anything. It will happen according to Him. So relax, USA!

Anyway, here's the not-so-shocking news: I decided to stay in Jakarta. I'm not going to continue my study in the USA. There's no need in reapplying. Firstly, it's useless. Secondly, the next available date for visa interview is Feb 2003 (yes, they use scheduling appointment method to slow down the visa demands). Thirdly and most importantly, I feel that with the current situations and conditions, this is God's given path for me. I would still like to pursue a postgraduate degree (i.e. master's degree), but as for the time and place, I leave it all to God. We shall see what is best for me.

This is the second stage in my life where I have to start over again. New places, new environments, new culture, new friends, new people, new daily life, new activities, new weather, new everything. After not having lived in Jakarta for the past 5 years, everything is somehow new (and a lot of bad things, too, in that category). I have to adapt all over again and it's not an easy task, mind you. It was such a brave decision of mine, leaving everything behind in the USA, where my life for the past 5 years focused in. I kept asking before, "Why this way? Why now?" But then I realized... it's because God loves me very much. It's better for me to leave the USA right now, when everything is not too deep, so that it's much easier for me to leave everything behind. Five years, you cannot call that short, but it's not that long. The more I'm attached to everything in the States, the harder it is to let them go. So it's the perfect time to move on with my life and start something new. Who knows what happens in the future? I'll just savor each day as much as I could...

I'm planning on going back to the States to get my stuff, sort them out, and send them all to Jakarta. Maybe in Jan or Feb 2003. Oh, and bid farewell to my friends. And hang out with them for the last time. And visit memorable places. And go to good restaurants that I have craved for all this time. And go shopping :D And buy everything I've ever wanted that's not available in Jakarta. And do all the things I could never do in Jakarta before going back home. Sounds like a month is not enough =P

You know the thing I miss the most from the States? Since my life was there for the past 5 years, I miss my friends. I miss the small group of friends who seem to know me by heart. "It goes without saying", they say. I haven't found one alike in here... except for my dear mother, who is my greatest bestfriend.

Oh, and let's not forget the hardest thing I will have to face in Jakarta: the people. Right, the residents of Jakarta. I need not say more.
More details on the situations in Jakarta next time.